It’s been a couple of weeks since this event took place, I’ve had a lot going on lately which I’ve had to deal with. Nevertheless, I’m not missing the chance to write about the day I kicked anxiety in the butt for once and showed it who’s boss!
On the 14th November 2017, I was home alone. Tuesdays are my day off so I tend to be at home all day as my boyfriend works 10-6 and by the time he gets home I have gone to university. On this day he had a half day, so I thought I won’t eat lunch, I’ll wait for him to get home so we can eat together. He wasn’t due home until around 2.30pm, by 1pm I was already getting hungry. You might be thinking, what’s the big deal? To me, it was a massive deal, it was the first time I ate something alone for the first time in over 8 months!
So 1.45pm came and I was looking forward to him getting home. As soon as he finished he rang me to say he was going to the barbers to get his hair cut. Fortunately, I understand the importance of a guy and his trim so I said it was okay. I then thought to myself ‘I’ll just wait another 20 minutes, he’ll be closer to getting home then’. So 2.30 came and went, by this time I was absolutely starving and I could feel a migraine coming on. Migraines and I do not get on at all; I get very nauseous, dehydrated due to lack of fluids and weak. I’m pretty much bed bound and sleep is my only help. I thought to myself ‘I really don’t want another day feeling like rubbish’. Looking at the time it was almost 3 o’clock! I genuinely couldn’t wait any longer, I had to eat.
I warmed up the leftovers of veggie stir-fry that I had made for dinner the night before and made myself a drink of squash. The stir-fry consisted of noodles, sweetcorn, leafy greens, carrots and sweet chilli sauce. Whilst it was heating I got an episode of Coronation Street ready in the hope it’ll distract me more than it usually does. I was very anxious, more so than usual due to me being alone. Once my food was heated I sat down to eat and watched my programme at the same time. Surprisingly, I was way too hungry to even focus on anxiety!
Despite it being a difficult challenge and an uncomfortable situation I had continued to persevere and accomplished something I’ve not been able to do for a very long time. I was proud of myself for doing that and motivated to do it again (I haven’t tried eating alone again since but I will).